Saturday, October 12: So, what explains my dream of last night, the dream where I looked out the window of my ranch-style house to see the earth convulsing violently back and forth? Inside the house, I didn’t feel the earthquake. But. I knew it was an earthquake nonetheless.
Out the window, after the earthquake, I saw the red rock on which our foundation was built had fallen away, and we were surrounded by sheer drop-offs into deep terra-cotta canyons. Under half the house, the rock had sheared off, so the house was balanced precariously at the top of the cliff. Out the window, I could see orange, yellow and green-colored houses and red rooftops and somehow I thought we were in Lisbon, but no, despite the colors of the houses, it was insistently San Francisco. Sarah, my now 29-year-old daughter, was only a small girl, maybe 5 or 6. She didn’t seem particularly unnerved by the earthquake. Mike was cool-headed as always. It was just the three of us, a cobbled-together family.
Urgent radio messages told us to evacuate, to leave the San Francisco Bay area in the next 30 minutes. I couldn’t make the simplest decisions about what to take. I was afraid to move around in the house for fear it would topple off the cliff. We decided we would stick it out, rather than be trapped in huge traffic jams trying to flee the city.
Nothing was resolved, but when I woke up, it took me a long while to realize that it never happened, that it was all a dream.
Click on any of the images below for a full-sized slideshow of the rainy Waynesboro 2013 Fall Foliage Festival.
So what would Freud say? What is the meaning of this dream? Was it that I just left Lisbon at the end of July, and while there I kept hearing of the 1755 earthquake that razed much of the city and surrounds? Was it that my son just left San Francisco on Saturday morning and headed to LA, where he’s trying to find his passion? Was it the fact that I hate my new job, teaching mostly Saudi students who are immature, lazy, entitled and out of control? Was it the fact that I caught almost half of my class cheating last week and after telling them of my suspicions, they went in mass to complain about me (typical behavior in the Gulf)? Was it the fear I’ve felt over the last two months that I might have cancer, followed by relief when I heard this week that I just have pre-cancerous cells which must be removed next Friday? Was it that I just bought a ticket to California for early January, to visit a friend near San Francisco and my sister and another friend near L.A.? Was it the fact that I’m struggling with family issues, especially regarding my children, who are struggling themselves?
I think dreams tell everything that is happening in our lives, in one fell swoop, thrown together in one indecipherable mishmash. Maybe there is no meaning. But maybe the meaning is that it’s time for a change. Even the leaves know this.
I have to give this a lot of thought, because I can’t live a life where I’m paid peanuts to give up every waking minute to a job I hate. I just can’t do it. I’ll go off the deep end, or I’ll just give myself over to falling off that cliff. Maybe that’s why in the dream, I’m wracked with indecision, and why I’m incapable of moving in any direction.
Click on any picture below to see pictures of Monterey’s Hands & Harvest Fall Foliage Festival.
“Fate is how your life unfolds when you let fear determine your choices. A path of destiny reveals itself to you, however, when you confront your fear and make conscious choices.”
– Caroline Myss
I’m shaken by this dream, and by my week, but I’ve made a plan to visit Annette Naber of The Beauty Along the Road for 3 days out of my 4-day Columbus Day holiday. She lives in Highland County, almost to the West Virginia border, about an hour west of Staunton. It’s an escape I’ve been looking forward to. So I leave at about 10:00 this morning and by 1:00, I’m sitting across from Annette at Stone Soup in Waynesboro, where we have lunch, visit the little Fall Foliage Festival in the drizzle, and then drive together over the mountains to her home.
It’s a rainy day in Waynesboro. In Monterey, the rain tapers off a bit, leaving wisps of clouds nestled in the folds of mountains. I even catch sight of a faded rainbow, promising hope, and tranquility.
Your ability to get what you want is entirely dependent on your ability to recognize it — so ask yourself some tough questions and see where the answers lead. Life doesn’t have to be the same forever! ~ Scorpio’s horoscope for today.
A much-needed retreat. I give thanks from the bottom of my heart to Annette and her husband Dan for inviting me to their home for a lovely escape from the drudgery of my life.